THE WOLF

Since the lockdown has eased and pubs have re-opened I have been in about four so far and each one of them has been utterly soulless and shit.
You queue up, provide name date and serial number to be randomly waited upon by apologetic staff in a sterile area that has less atmosphere than a proton.
The worst one to date was one of my favourite pubs, it is called The Woodbridge at Coalbrookdale a place Mr ging will be well familiar with. It sits alongside a beautiful location 50 yards away from the River Severn.
Last year, whilst drinking a cooling draft of local ale that was possibly made by Michaelangelo or the baby Jeebus, I saw a wild Otter frollicking on the opposite bank to us, it was mesmerising to see a wild animal that is personally my favourite at play.

This year (yesterday), we waited in the queue, provided I.D. and several references, to be marched to a table next to four middle aged ladies all squawking to be heard whilst trying not very hard to interrupt their fellow squawkers turn in squawking.
No topic was safe, their loudest squawkery concerned one of the smaller squawkers referring to being a size 8, why four women clucked so loudly about woodscrews I presume is beyond me.

Then the bombshell, the waiter quite surprisingly cautiously asked us what we wanted to drink, when I asked for a sumptuous local blonde ale, he replied, "Sorry sir we have no ales only lager and cider"
My face contorted into that painting called The Scream by Edvard Munch, and whilst asking him to repeat his message it was clear that he too was very embarrassed by the situation, my ghast has never been so flabbered.
Well we had a quick pint of cider and a white wine whilst listening to the ladies hoovering oxygen. The waiter appeared again and the ladies ordered a flat white, an uneven white or possibly a hilly white, a choco moccalotta chocca, a crappy Frapochino or a crappy pair o Chino's I dunno, the waiter fucked off sharpish and bought the ladies back a sordid array of coffee's for fucks sake, pubs should be all about ALE, fuckin BEER, LOCAL ALE AND BEER, not bastard warm cups of overpriced shite for Doris and Cynthia to quaff whilst pissing off their fellow incumbents.

GET YOU PRIORITIES RIGHT.

rant over.

_________________
There is no substitute for hard work.