Register    Login    Forum    Search    FAQ

Board index » MEMBERS LOUNGE » Fun and Games




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 4 posts ] 

Share On:

Author Message
 Post subject: quickies
 Post Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 8:47 am 
Offline
Manager
Manager
User avatar

Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2004 12:10 pm
Posts: 20829
Location: 10% tax island
I sat on the train this morning opposite a stunning Thai girl.I kept thinking to myself, please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection...but she did.


The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner.F*ck me, talk about Dyson with death.


Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador .""f*ck that" says Mick"have you seen how many of their owners go blind"


A man walks into a welsh pub and orders a white wine spritzer.The bar goes silent as everyone stares at him..."Where are you from?You sound English", "I'm from across the Severn ," replies the man nervously."What do you do, just across the Severn ?", "I'm a taxidermist.""What on earth is one of those?", "I mount animals.""Its alright boys," shouts the barman he's one of us.


I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she was poor - she only had £1.20 in her purse.

My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.


I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at the foot of my bed. At first I was afraid.......then I was petrified.


An old lady is being examined by the Dr. He asks have you ever been bedridden? she says yes I have..................... and I've been table ended and backskuttled a few times too!


Scientists have just identified a food that can cause grief and suffering years after it's been eaten. It's called a wedding cake.


I was in the pub with my wife last night and i said i love you. She said is that you or the beer talking ? I replied it's me talking to the beer.

The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.


memo to blokes: don't want you to panic but I'm texting you from the casualty. Turns out the new Dyson Ball nonclogging suction cleaner isn't what it sounds like!

_________________
http://www.statto.com/football/stats/en ... time-table


Wolverhampton Wanderers, the Beatles of football!


Top 
 Profile  
 
Share on Facebook Facebook Share on Twitter Twitter
 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 10:21 am 
Offline
Manager
Manager
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 05, 2008 12:32 pm
Posts: 9114
Location: Raaahhhhhhley
good gags mate, the first one made me laugh.

_________________
Money cannot buy this round......
defended like beavers - Kamara 2009
there used to be a thing called 'natural selection' but its been stopped by 'health and safety'
www.vwcaddy.com


Top 
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 7:17 pm 
Offline
Manager
Manager

Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2004 11:45 pm
Posts: 4019
Location: wallheath on sea
good one's there yeander, my old man passed away yesterday and i needed a good loff.... :wink:

_________________
yow wor put on this earth to be happy.


Top 
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2011 2:00 pm 
Offline
Manager
Manager
User avatar

Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2004 12:10 pm
Posts: 20829
Location: 10% tax island
astubliffhacked wrote:
good one's there yeander, my old man passed away yesterday and i needed a good loff.... :wink:


jaysus that's a downer!
sympathy to you and yours

_________________
http://www.statto.com/football/stats/en ... time-table


Wolverhampton Wanderers, the Beatles of football!


Top 
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
 
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 4 posts ] 

Board index » MEMBERS LOUNGE » Fun and Games


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests

 
 

 
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  

The Wolf will always be free to its members, but if you feel you would like to contribute towards the running costs, than please feel free to donate.

 

 

Disclaimer : This forum is for the general discussion/topic of Wolverhampton Wanderers. What is said within the forum is personal opinions, and The Wolf will not be held responsible. Your ip is logged for security reasons. The forum is viewable by the public and any topics you disclose/discuss can be viewed by the public. Some topics on this forum may only be suitable for those aged 18+.