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 Post subject: terminal cancer
 Post Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2014 8:49 pm 
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if you were told you had months to live how would you handle it? what would you do? I ask this because ive been given months to live and need to know your views.

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 Post subject: Re: terminal cancer
 Post Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2014 10:08 pm 
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Christ almighty Pogue, where does one start to express in words how you should feel, or how to react or respond.
May I wish you every comfort and pleasure that life can afford you in your last few months, anything anyone says in response to your message may appear trivial and meaningless really but I will try to answer the question you raise.

What would I do, I would spend as much time as I could with my loved ones and prepare them for my exit.I would prepare a photo album of all the times I remember with them and add a few lines under each picture for them to read at a time of their choosing.
I would do my best to see that they were financially sound. I would make sure that no words were left unspoken, no apologies left unsaid either by me or to me.I would ask that they remember me for all the good things that happened and remind them of all the good things yet to happen in their lives.
I have dealt with death in its many forms over twenty or more years Pogue and if there is any comfort you can gain out of your condition is that you have the time to put some things right, a sudden death robs the deceased and their loved ones of that simple piece of closure which may seem daft in the enormity of what you are going through, but I promise you it allows your family to properly move on without a life lead by the questions of "What if, and why"

Folks will not know what to say to you or how to react in your company, you must take that as a sign of their respect for you and their own insecurity in being able to say or do the right things, dont be perturbed or alarmed for a minute mate.

The simplest answer to what you ask is "I dont know and I hope I never have to face it"

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 Post subject: Re: terminal cancer
 Post Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2014 11:36 pm 
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Question of the year Pogue!!!!
I have been around two people in the last 18 months who were given the same news and my answer would be I would try to be half the men they were in dealing with it, although I fear the reality would be different.
Alan made it easy for people to visit, always a smile and he never avoided the "death"word which was uneasy at first but it was his way and as daft as it sounds put us at ease with the visits.We never thought oh god what do we say or what subjects do we avoid.I know many who avoided going to see him because they didn't know what to say but i wish they had given him 5 minutes of their time because the reality was so different.
My dad on the other hand although very ill made it easy for us too.He never mentioned dying it was always I may renew my golf membership next week or keep a look out for a holiday for the summer.He knew and we knew but he was doing it that way for us.
I have so much admiration and respect for the two people i have mentioned and without trying to be patronising I have a feeling those are words are already used for you in the way you have dealt with your cancer head on.

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 Post subject: Re: terminal cancer
 Post Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2014 6:13 am 
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2 brilliant posts thus far. being a police officer rozza I guessed your job involves death on a near weekly basis so your views would be positive and understanding. lets hear other views but so far these 2 posts are bang on.

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 Post subject: Re: terminal cancer
 Post Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2014 10:03 am 
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Sorry to hear that the news is so final Pogue, im struggling for something to say.

My mate Dan got given similar news earlier in the year. he never said as much to anyone but carried on with his life and took pleasure in stupid things (one of my mates obviously!)

a memory that springs to mind is me, Dan and my missis were going to ASDA (posh!) and his missis sent him a text asking for something and his car spoke the words out loud, one of those new fords, so i immediately sent him a text which read 'you love it up you dont you' very very silly obviously but we laughed all the way round the shop at it.

he even thanked me later for letting him tag along shopping with us. something that seemed odd to me but i later found out lots of people avoided him and broke appointments with him for whatever reason.

Rozza is right tho mate, don't let anything get left unsaid.

keep your chin up mate, as i said to you before, im here if you need anything.

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 Post subject: Re: terminal cancer
 Post Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2014 10:56 am 
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Pogue , please tell us what you think and perhaps we could learn from you?


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 Post subject: Re: terminal cancer
 Post Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2014 2:36 pm 
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Well Pogue, no doubt you'll get loads of sympathy, but pragmatism is what is required now. In your awful shoes, I THINK I would try to do the following: -

1). Sit my nearest and dearest down and set out the rules, because they're going to have to live whilst you're dying and it isn't easy for them either. You might find yourself smothered in pity that you don't want. Tell them now, whilst you have the strength what you want and what you expect from them during the remaining months.

2). Arrange my own Hospice (if that fits your wishes) and my own funeral to my own wishes, pay in advance if funds allow.

3). Make sure any Pension Funds, Bank Accounts and Financial whatever are in joint names, signed over as soon as possible so that only your Wife's signature is necessary to access and release funds.

4). Try to do as much as possible on any Bucket List you might have - try to live each day to the full as your strength dictates and allows.

5). Now comes the part that is difficult for me to put into words and MY OWN biggest fear; no matter how hard I might pretend to be, I'm scared of pain and detest the thought of dying in pain. I would really want my Doctor to be really honest with me and tell me how the end is going to be - I'd want his/her assurances that they will give me enough Morphine or whatever painkillers they use now that I won't suffer.

You're in the UK and I cannot tell you how or what you should do because of the legal implications, but I have a good female friend in Athens, Greece who's Mother was dying from Cervical Cancer and in a lot of pain towards the end. The Brother of this Girl was able to administer enough sleeping tablets during her final days in Hospital to put her out of her pain.

On the other-hand, months could just turn into years and you might yet see us back in the Premier League, who knows. In whatever you do, whenever you do it, may you go in peace knowing that you prepared everything beforehand to the best of your ability.

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 Post subject: Re: terminal cancer
 Post Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2014 3:30 pm 
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Another thing comes to mind Poguey, do a bit of research regarding shrubs, tree's, etc, try to find one that is at its best at around the time you think will be your last, then plant it together so that each year, with a bit of care, it will blossom and give pleasure to the people who know the relevance of it so it becomes a positive as well as the negative surrounding the anniversary, if that makes sense.

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 Post subject: Re: terminal cancer
 Post Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2014 7:22 pm 
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further to low hills post and now ive had a few posts I will now tell my thoughts.

ive worked tirelessly for 3 years raising awareness for penile melanoma and have worked with balls to cancer but recently orchid male cancer and have been in the sun and the daily mail online. ive helped many men by this and by starting my own support group which in return as helped me. im lucky in a way that I have time to tell my wife and family that I love them and trying to be strong myself to make them strong ,but my aim is to beat the prognosis of months rather than years. in 2 weeks time I start radiology on my brain to reduce the size of the tumour there then 2 weeks later I start on a strong chemo drug called ipilimuab [ipi] this reduces the size of tumours but the side effects are life threatening and very bad and will make me ill for the entire 3 month course,if I respond to this I will be given a new drug from the usa as a clinical trial which as had great results but they only work for so long the longest I can hope for is 2 years if they work. I aim to get there, not looking at months but the longest time I can get. planning funeral and stuff which isn't easy!!!!!. working hard on a book after not getting help to fund it by a charity so im funding it to the sum of 3k but I hope folk will buy it and get even more awareness. me myself? im doing ok right now but I know in 2 weeks time things will get bad before I get better. the [ipi] is for the lung ,liver and adrelan gland tumours.

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 Post subject: Re: terminal cancer
 Post Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2014 7:34 pm 
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I think you're right to keep on fighting it rather than just accepting it. Best of luck to you.

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 Post subject: Re: terminal cancer
 Post Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2014 10:23 pm 
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Death is so final, and you don't want to even consider it, yet it comes to us all, sooner or later. I think that whilst it's hard to accept, when an illness accelerates the process, I try to think of what I've achieved in my life, the wonderful family that I have, the friends that I've made, and the places I've been to, and the memories that they've given me. Some people die so young, they never have those memories.

Pogue, do you have any regrets? Is there something that you've always wanted to do, a place you've always wanted to visit? If there is, and you can do it, DO IT, NOW. Asides to that, spend as much quality time with your loved ones as possible. If you need to make peace in any way, with anyone, now's the time to share that pint. I don't know whether you're a religious or spiritual person in any way, but if you are, say a prayer if it gives you strength.

Good luck, and don't give up x

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 Post subject: Re: terminal cancer
 Post Posted: Wed Sep 10, 2014 10:39 pm 
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"if you were told you had months to live how would you handle it? what would you do? I ask this because ive been given months to live and need to know your views"

Okay Mr Pogue, I'm going to attempt to answer this the best I can. I have some 'experience' I know that's the wrong word, my wife is in remission, thankfully our news is positive and no dark clouds.

At first I would cry. I would cry because I'd just learned the life I take for granted has an expiry date. I would probably feel sorry for myself, that I've done nothing, seen nothing, achieved nothing, been loved by no one. Ohh man it would be easy if that were the case.

And then I would stop crying and think of my family, the memories, births, birthdays, holidays, dancing, laughter, wine and song, happy times, good times and yeah I have achieved something

And then I would cry, but not openly this time. Because in front of my family I would be strong, Dad is a Rock. I know that I will never see my daughters finish school, be there to help, see them drive, further education, career, get married and have a family, so on and so forth.

I'd write cards, cards for those occasions, those occasions when I won't be there. They would be humorous, some might say unbelievable, stuff like ' So you're 21 today and it's a double celebration as Wolves won the Champions league this year xx' ....serious stuff, silly stuff, a card for all occasions..

I'd tell my wife, it's okay to move on, to love and to feel love, don't be lonely and if she wanted to do any of that silly bollaxs seance shit, then here's the code word ........so you know it's me.

And what Rozza said...

Prayer as in a religious sense won't help you Mr Pogue, but the medicine might, so it's a bit of a oxymoron but I'm going to say a prayer for the medicine to the people that produce the medicine, I don't have a God.

Anyway I'm done with the tears tonight ....and there was me whinging about a bit of jetlag earlier ffs.

Keep us posted Pogue..


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 Post subject: Re: terminal cancer
 Post Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 12:34 pm 
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im truly touched by your posts great to know theres folk who do have feelings and thoughts. I start radiotherapy next Friday and strong chemo 2 weeks later in medicine I trust.

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 Post subject: Re: terminal cancer
 Post Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 5:35 pm 
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Had a good read of the treatment Pogue and i hope you are the 1 in 5.

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 Post subject: Re: terminal cancer
 Post Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 7:19 pm 
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only one in 5 that's crap. ive re edited this because someone thought they had upset me with stats. id be more than happy for the ipi chemo to give me extra time, better than months!! roll on next Friday to start the cyber knife.

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 Post subject: Re: terminal cancer
 Post Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 1:01 pm 
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http://www.alternet.org/drugs/meet-teen ... r-cannabis

http://www.cureyourowncancer.org/how-ca ... works.html

http://www.cureyourowncancer.org/cannab ... umors.html

http://phoenixtears.ca/


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 Post subject: Re: terminal cancer
 Post Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 3:16 pm 
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thanks for that lhb good reading it certainly seems to work?

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 Post subject: Re: terminal cancer
 Post Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2014 5:13 pm 
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All the best for tomorrow.

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 Post subject: Re: terminal cancer
 Post Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2014 9:54 pm 
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kenbarlowsslippers wrote:
All the best for tomorrow.



Seconded.

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 Post subject: Re: terminal cancer
 Post Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2014 3:46 pm 
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hi guys ,just back from radiotherapy the cyber knife,when I went in I was told that my last finer detail mri of the inside of the brain showed no further tumours which was a great relief. so onto the table and my mask fitted and clamped down and then it started to the pogues cd I took in. the treatment should have lasted for 1 hr but with me not moving it only took 45 mins, I didn't feel no pain but was relieved when the tight fitting mask was removed. ordered to take thing very easy till Monday and to expect my brain to swell giving severe headaches but will be controlled by steroids. this one was a one off as I have had a very high dose to give maximum effect. 3 hospital visits next week then ipi chemo starts next thursday

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 Post subject: Re: terminal cancer
 Post Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2014 5:31 pm 
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Pogue, it is not often I am lost for words, but I am close now. I have no idea how you should live your life or what you should try to accomplish. What I do know is that your bravery and courage in facing this terrible illness is truly remarkable and humbling. I can only send you my heartfelt best wishes, and hope that the treatment goes well.

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 Post subject: Re: terminal cancer
 Post Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2014 5:40 pm 
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this morning I only had 1 big fear not of the treatment or the enormity of it but I was hoping the sawdust didn't catch fire.

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 Post subject: Re: terminal cancer
 Post Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2014 10:05 pm 
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wwfcpogue wrote:
this morning I only had 1 big fear not of the treatment or the enormity of it but I was hoping the sawdust didn't catch fire.


Touch wood, eh mate.

hope you feel a bit bit better now its all over. For a bit at least

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 Post subject: Re: terminal cancer
 Post Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2014 10:12 pm 
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wwfcpogue wrote:
this morning I only had 1 big fear not of the treatment or the enormity of it but I was hoping the sawdust didn't catch fire.


It took me five reads of that Pogue to realise what yam on about. Christ help you if you think yam getting wood during your treatment chap, we will all need Anderson shelters and ARP wardens.

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 Post subject: Re: terminal cancer
 Post Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2014 2:53 am 
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get wood ? I wish, that was amputated 2 years ago. sawdust? my brain is full of it lol

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 Post subject: Re: terminal cancer
 Post Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 4:33 am 
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update. no real side effects from the cyber knife just a red face due to the radiation and sleepless nights due to the steroids. today I start the wonder drug ipi which I was told it costs a mind blowing £25.000 per shot total treatment £100.000 and some complain about our poor nhs? not me I thank them for their help.

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 Post subject: Re: terminal cancer
 Post Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 9:11 am 
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wwfcpogue wrote:
update. no real side effects from the cyber knife just a red face due to the radiation and sleepless nights due to the steroids. today I start the wonder drug ipi which I was told it costs a mind blowing £25.000 per shot total treatment £100.000 and some complain about our poor nhs? not me I thank them for their help.


Expensive game that is mate, as little as I use the services im glad for the nhs

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 Post subject: Re: terminal cancer
 Post Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 9:56 am 
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wwfcpogue wrote:
update. no real side effects from the cyber knife just a red face due to the radiation and sleepless nights due to the steroids. today I start the wonder drug ipi which I was told it costs a mind blowing £25.000 per shot total treatment £100.000 and some complain about our poor nhs? not me I thank them for their help.


I wish you all the very best when you start the new course of drugs. The costs associated with cancer treatment are very expensive, but it is an area where all necessary funding must be available.

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 Post subject: Re: terminal cancer
 Post Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 11:18 am 
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FrankMunro-371 wrote:
wwfcpogue wrote:
update. no real side effects from the cyber knife just a red face due to the radiation and sleepless nights due to the steroids. today I start the wonder drug ipi which I was told it costs a mind blowing £25.000 per shot total treatment £100.000 and some complain about our poor nhs? not me I thank them for their help.


I wish you all the very best when you start the new course of drugs. The costs associated with cancer treatment are very expensive, but it is an area where all necessary funding must be available.


Absolutely Frank, the more investment the better. Besides, I'm sure the Government make plenty income from the drug industry.

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 Post subject: Re: terminal cancer
 Post Posted: Fri Sep 26, 2014 1:08 pm 
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wwfcpogue wrote:
update. no real side effects from the cyber knife just a red face due to the radiation and sleepless nights due to the steroids. today I start the wonder drug ipi which I was told it costs a mind blowing £25.000 per shot total treatment £100.000 and some complain about our poor nhs? not me I thank them for their help.


Probably not the question you need right now or could answer, but WHY do these drugs COST the NHS so much money?

I couldn't afford that much without selling everything as there is no such NHS here at the levels you currently require. The best anti-cancer drugs they have here cost around $500 per injection and even that is out of the reach of most ordinary folk.

Just have to go look at that link Gen Wolf posted with the 97 year old veteran telling how things used to be before the NHS.

Keep fighting and best of British to you.

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