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 Post subject: Friends
 Post Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2014 7:01 am 
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Keep them close if you are lucky enough to have them and be ready to watch for signs they need help.

Good friend of mine went back to his office last night and blew his brains out.

Never saw it coming (me that is) now sat here joining the long
list of people blaming themselves.

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 Post subject: Re: Friends
 Post Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2014 7:26 am 
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Jeez Mr S....what an absolute shock, not just for you but for the others too...
I'm sure fellow posters will be here to offer support so I won't drone on, but I strongly doubt anyone is to blame chicks....I'm so sorry for your loss....

Would people know what 'signs' to look out for?...


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 Post subject: Re: Friends
 Post Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2014 8:49 am 
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nuttymate wrote:
Jeez Mr S....what an absolute shock, not just for you but for the others too...
I'm sure fellow posters will be here to offer support so I won't drone on, but I strongly doubt anyone is to blame chicks....I'm so sorry for your loss....

Would people know what 'signs' to look out for?...


Not much you can do when someone has a legal weapon in their custody. Had it happen to myself twice, first one was a Warrant Officer that blew his brains out in the Ladies loo in the Detachment's club in Berlin over some minor debts problems and the other was a Corporal I was do to takeover from in Northern Ireland who blew his brains out because, 'we think' he was bored.

No warning signs in either case, but I can confirm that you can get some morbid thoughts sitting on your own with a live weapon in your hands - it is so easy to pull the trigger without really thinking about it then, you come back to your senses and start shaking thinking how close you were to blowing your brains out.

Sorry for your loss Mr. Ging.

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 Post subject: Re: Friends
 Post Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2014 6:13 pm 
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I think that our country has a very flawed system in support for these people. Whether the signs can be recognised or not, in England it seems that it's far too often overlooked and people are too blasé.

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 Post subject: Re: Friends
 Post Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2014 7:51 pm 
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Muz wrote:
I think that our country has a very flawed system in support for these people. Whether the signs can be recognised or not, in England it seems that it's far too often overlooked and people are too blasé.

I spend 8 hours a day looking for 'the signs'.... and yes, the system is flawed.
I imagine should I ever find myself stood in coroners court the word 'blame' will undoubtedly be muttered, by a devastated family, or a local hack....even if I'd acted accordingly and to the best of my ability.
But no one should ever feel they are to 'blame'....they could be full of regret, sadness, but folk should never be to blame...


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 Post subject: Re: Friends
 Post Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2014 10:05 pm 
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believe me,warning signs rarely show themselves unless you want them to be seen.trust me I know.
I walked out on everything a few years back and spent 3 days just driving up and down the country finally settling stood on the edge of a cliff with half of my foot over the edge.i had every intention of finishing it thinking I had let everyone down but by the grace of god I had a flash of what my mother would be like when she was told of my demise.this was like a sheer moment of clarity and I got back in the car and slowly made my way back to her house.
it was a long road back to health and I still have serious bouts of depression now but I have a wonderful wife and family that know how to help.

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 Post subject: Re: Friends
 Post Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2014 10:10 pm 
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brian laws bus ride wrote:
believe me,warning signs rarely show themselves unless you want them to be seen.trust me I know.
I walked out on everything a few years back and spent 3 days just driving up and down the country finally settling stood on the edge of a cliff with half of my foot over the edge.i had every intention of finishing it thinking I had let everyone down but by the grace of god I had a flash of what my mother would be like when she was told of my demise.this was like a sheer moment of clarity and I got back in the car and slowly made my way back to her house.
it was a long road back to health and I still have serious bouts of depression now but I have a wonderful wife and family that know how to help.


Doe forget you always have the Wolves there to brighten your day bri.



Iceberg and tip is this thread I tell thee.

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 Post subject: Re: Friends
 Post Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2014 10:22 pm 
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brian laws bus ride wrote:
believe me,warning signs rarely show themselves unless you want them to be seen.trust me I know.
I walked out on everything a few years back and spent 3 days just driving up and down the country finally settling stood on the edge of a cliff with half of my foot over the edge.i had every intention of finishing it thinking I had let everyone down but by the grace of god I had a flash of what my mother would be like when she was told of my demise.this was like a sheer moment of clarity and I got back in the car and slowly made my way back to her house.
it was a long road back to health and I still have serious bouts of depression now but I have a wonderful wife and family that know how to help.


I'm thinking that if you got to that stage of thinking then, perhaps everyone else had let YOU down!

I often think of walking out on everything, but not to top myself, just to start again somewhere else with nobody else to worry about except myself, but then I think, well, you made your bed Bob, either make it or sleep in it as it is.

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 Post subject: Re: Friends
 Post Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2014 12:12 am 
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Depression is a murky world, is there a single explanation or reason? Real men don't have it, or do they?

To take your own life, is it a brave act, or an act of a cowardice?

I don't think it's simple as that, but my heart sinks, when I hear the news of someone who has taken their own life, but not before they've murdered their own spouse, or children, or both. I cannot comprehend.

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 Post subject: Re: Friends
 Post Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2014 7:40 am 
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Lad has left two teenage children

Ambitions of a third party. Came to HK in 1987. Flew out with a PC from Mansfield who went to a local school. Andy came from Nottingham and attended the best schools. Became best mates with Mansfield lad who now wears one pip and a crown. Andy loved crime fighting, stayed in CID at the rank of Chief Inspector. Never bothered him, but his wife never let him forget it.

Great squash player and played ping pong for England in his youth but always ultra aggressive in all sports, never ever accepting defeat.

With that character, always wired, but a man with a heart of gold, who i will miss greatly

Wife repeatedly left him but came back after finding religion which replaced the career nag with a save the lord nag. All topped off with his decison, like mine, both of us tragically wrong, in not buying H K property, the pair of us surrounded by pound sterling multi millionaires, which has not helped on the home front

Perfect storm

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 Post subject: Re: Friends
 Post Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2014 7:52 am 
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Pretty impossible situation, the blame game within a person who thinks they may have let down another, or just maybe could have helped.
Usually you can't, the kind of structures required come from within, built by experience, and i guess those barriers that we all create are not consistent.
Always a sadness, RIP.

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 Post subject: Re: Friends
 Post Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2014 8:58 pm 
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My sympathies Suiging. I'm with KK on this. There is no cause for blame in such circumstances.

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